I'm not longer alone

In my life there's been no one like him. Anywhere, anywhere where he is. If he asked, I'd be his...In my life, there is some who touches my life. Waiting near, waiting here...

I remember those first days together, when you claimed you were sure you loved me more than I loved you. I will admit that at some point I believed you, and grew scared. I didn't want you to love me more, I wanted to love you just as much, but what if I wasn't capable of such love? 

What a naive little peanut I was.

In my life there has been so many tough decisions. Tough for me because I tend to over analyze and predict the worst possible outcome. And because, just like everyone else, I get lost in life sometimes. Being like this has filled me up with doubts. Every decision is a struggle. You saw it when I tried to make any decision regarding my future Master. I'm aware this makes me somewhat indecisive. And because of that I have chosen things I thought I wanted, and I had so many other precious things go because I thought I didn't need them. But time passed by and allowed me to realize how wrong I had been. 

But I have learned. And if being with Ferdinand taught me something, was to understand how I never want to feel ever again. I understood how being in love might blind you, and how only time can really help you understand a person.

Today at work I said I was sure I was gonna end up marrying you and they got startled at my certainty. And it's almost ironic how the single most important decision I had made yet: the one involving the one person I'm gonna share the rest of my years with, is the easiest one.

We were thinking about marriage just weeks after we started dating. And even back then I said yes, I just knew how the love of my live was right there waiting for me, bursting like the music of angels, the light of the sun. And I felt how my life seemed to stop as if something was over and something was scarcely beginning, and how I soared through a world that was new that was free. 

This much happiness, this much certainty is so new to me. and I find myself with the biggest smile stretched all over my face when I think about being with you forever. Fuck the courthouse, and fuck the church. I don't need them to know that our love is real and everlasting.

I'm so happy to share all the years ahead of us with you, my one true Monkey.

I love you more than I ever loved before. More than I thought I could.

♡