Utopia revised

I've been wanting to write this entry for a while now. I'm constatnly evaluating the progess in my goals, and I change them as I think adecuate. 

There are times in life when you just stop, evaluate and see how things are going for you according to your life plans. Sometimes you need to give up on an impossible dream -like going to the moon- or realize it's going to take more time to reach the prize; there are also times when you need to add things to that list of yours, when you embrace the variables of life and include them. There are times when something got crossed out of the list earlier than you would've thought it ever would; and this is your case particularly. I've always wanted a husband, a life-long partner, but I didn't know when I would meet him, when I would need to accomodate my life so I can fit his. Now, that moment has come. You are here and I need to create new goals including you, I need to open my life for you, and you for me.

Years back -December 13th 2011, to be exact- Exactly 3 years before we started dating, I wrote what I thought was my Utopia, my dreamed life and published it in my only blog at the moment. This is it, translated: 

« I dreamt I finally graduated and got a job offer in Mexico City. In a high regarded company and such... but there was a torn still pinching my side, making me want to do better. So, I decided I would take up classes at the Politecnico during the afternoon. Have some subjects validated and major in Aeronautic Engineering. Three years would pass, maybe more, I would be 24-25, I would have 3 degrees and a decent salary. I would have tattoos already too. 

In order to do what's next, I would need to learn portuguese and french at the UNAM and when I finally consider myself a poliglot, I'll look for a job in other companies that offer me the opportunity to go to Brazil or France. In my dream I got it, and went to Brazil to work and start a master. I'd finish it and in this utopia they let me work with dreads. By now I'd be 28. What's still missing is the love of my life. Thank to black magic I'd find a brazilian man. Intelligent, and an engineer too, with the soul of an artist, free, corny, with a gorgeous smile. We would date, and at 31 he'd propose. We'd travel to Chihuahua so my family could meet him, and had 2 weddings. Our honey moon would be 3 months travelling Europe. I'd finally get a picture pretending to be a waitress in Bielruse. The only thing left was to consider wheter we wanted to live in Brazil or somewhere else.

I REALLY hope I can at least have 2 degrees, a Master, be trilingual and visit Europe before my 35th birthday. »

Hahaha So you can see I've always been some sort of a dreamer with high expectations. 

I'm only 23 and I do have 2 degrees, working to get my Master, almost trilingual and I'm probably going to Europe next year. I still have 12 years to do that and I'm pretty sure I'll have it done in 3.

What's my new Utopia, tho?

It's clear that I'm still aiming high, but I have you with me now. Side by side with new crazy things we want to do. So let me tell you what I day dream about, at least now -three weeks before I finish my first internship- with all my fears and this deep love that burns inside me. I don't know when I'm going to be willing to let you see this, but as for right now, this is what floats in my mind almost daily: 

Of course, a little after my 24th birthday I'll be living in Germany with you. Doing my Master in Satellites and if money is not a huge problem, maybe travelling a bit or even getting tattooed. I really want that matrioshka made in Russia. And the flowers on my arm being done by some amazing artist. I want to have orange hair, long orange hair I can pick  up in two buns too

I'm not sure what's going to happen when those 2 years end. Maybe a PhD? Do you think I can make it before I'm 30? How awesome would that be?! I want it! hahaha What about you teaching? Being this insanely hot teach. Oh gosh, I'm going to melt so hard when I see you grading papers.
I'm sure that by then I'd have built a life of incredibly amazing moments with you: Drinking at festivals, getting ready in our tiny apartment, feel so foreign and outta place in restaurants, be such tourists at museums, drink wine with your sister...

Honestly it seems I'm unable to plan beyond my Master. Everything is still in the dark, too far for me to see. But I do know one thing: we are getting married for-fucking-sure. I don't where is going to be, when is going to be or how the fuck I'm gonna manage to get my Vera Wang, but I'm marrying you in black with the coolest wedding cake and I'm going to look super hot. I plan for you to keep the look you have now, but it's up to you. I really love it, tho.

I daydream a lot about our house. I don't know where we are going to live but I want polished-cement floors. With maybe a rug where the livingroom is and a HUGE book shelf. With hanging and floating books. I want the house to be decorated with a mix of our styles. I want it to be just weird enough. And I want our room to be filled with memories. That doesn't mean photograps on the walls, I actually think it's going to be pretty minimalist and clean. Let's no forget about Sancho and Lupe!! Those gorgeous lazy things meowing all the time being so snuggly. I want a hairless cat at some point too :-[ hahaha

I don't know, I change my mind a lot. Kids... no kids. I kinda want a tiny monkey throwing poop around. What I'm trying to say is: now that I have you by my side forever, I don't care about what might happen, I don't plan so far ahead 'cause I know you can alter my plans with an eyelash, I honestly don't care as long as is you the thing that remains constant.

I love you monkey.

You are my utopia.

♡